Underbelly

Fucking ridiculous.

I was reminiscing today, and I remembered a day when me and my friend dave were hangin' out. I had just quit smoking pot, but he still did. I told him not to smoke around me and he was totally cool with it. But, he stil felt like doing something stupid.

So I said, in a very pyro mood, "Lets light shit on fire..."
"Cool"

So we went into my garage and picked out some gasoline, some kerosene, somefuckin oil, and a bunch of christmas ornaments. (It was around christmas time or just after) we grabbed about 6 ball ornaments, a bottle of wine, an old towel, and some lighting material.

We took a walk down to the tracks and on the way found a styrofoam box.

"hey, nate."

"Yeah?" I said.

"You know, with styrofoam and gasoline, you can make cheap napalm."

My eyes got real big and then..."Sweet!" and the fun began.

I filled all the ornaments with gasoline, and then dave put the towels onto the track. The box was about a foot wide, 2 feet long, and a foot deep. he started to dump generous amounts of gasoline into the styrofoam container.

I then grabbed the empty wine bottle and filled it to the neck.

"This is so stupid..." I said laughing.

"Yeah..." he said thoughtlessly.

We teared up the rag to the best of our ability and dipped them into the rich smelling pool of accumulating napalm. Each strip of cloth became the wick of each ornament. Our fingers began to get really cold, and then go numb.

Suddenly, dave ran off to a tree, broke off a branch, tore a piece of the styrofoam box and threw it into the puddle of gasoline. He picked it out with the stick and lit it on fire.

"holy shit!" he said as it whirled into flame. He launched it into the snow-dusted grass and I couldn't help laughing. "We're gonna burn down this forest aren't we?"

It wasn't long before I overcame the fumes and snapped into my senses to stop out the flaming grass. But the fumes won me over in the end. i walked over, slow and confident with a daze of confusion and lit the wick of one of the ornaments. Dave chuckled, and was shiverring in twitchy spasms.

The ornament flew threw the air and our expectations peaked in the moment before it hit the ground. It looked like a campfire apparated in the distance and stayed burning in the freezing wind for almost a minute. When it went out, we didn't even notice through our bouts of laughing and shivering.

Daily doses of VIVA LA BAM and JACKASS inspired our hysteria in strange satisfaction. Before long, 20 pieces of styrofoam stirred in fire on the grass beside the track. It was like a scary dream, but neither of us were afraid. I picked up a few of the ornaments and so did dave. Holiday cheer exploded around us and the insanity broke in our laughter. It was time for the molotav cocktail. I picked it up and said, "This is going to be fucking huge." I was right.

It sailed through the air and time stopped. It seemed to glide and suspend for hours, just waiting for us to be ready. We weren't prepared for the explosion that followed. It was as if the hard work of woodsmen building a bonfire snapped into our reality the moment the bottle crashed. A mushroom cloud, a nuclear mischief, a rolling light shooting up to the night sky.

Before the flame even started to go out, the train began to roll in our direction.

"Oh shit,"I said.
Dave was still in hysterics and birthed a new idea. He snapped off another piece of styrofom and soaked it into the liquid. He pulled it out with is tree branch and lit it on fire. He then grabbed the rest of the gascan and soaked the box in gasolene. Then he dropped the flameing chunk into the box.

"Run!" He yelled and we charged for the road leaving behind our burning evidence. As the train collided with the box, the front of the locomotive started on fire, and dave laughed as hard as he could while running and our of breath.

We made it back to my house reeking of fumes and smoke. We took showers and went to sleep, hearing the news about our experiment the next morning

"Did you guys hear anything about fire on the tracks last night?"

"Nope"

"I didn't" Dave said, and took a drink out of his water.

True story.